Saturday, Jan. 09, 2016
3 weeks and losing hope.
It is 14 weeks shy of being a whole year that we have been playing this dumb game. I keep waiting for it to end or get better, but it never does. Just when I decide it has gotten one of those two things, you decide to change it. I never know how to feel anymore. Heartbroken? Hopeful? Sickenly happy? Or maybe devastated? I have been repeating to myself that the universe has been telling me that you do not belong to me for weeks, but it does no good. Every piece of concrete clarity about us is so fleeting. I just want you and I will never learn my lesson. What do I have to do to make this work? I am so tired of holding back and doing what I think you want from me. I just want you. Only you.
amber163 at 8:08 p.m.